Shasty's Mom...thanks!

Dear Friends,

You have no idea how comforting it is to go on Eric's site each day and read the wonderful, generous, out pourings of your feeling for our son. I know it is not easy for some of you...however, as the weeks pass, and you are ready...I encourage you to voice your feelings as I think it is a wonderful part of our grieving.

Mine has been particularly hard, since his death was so abrupt that Wed. morning and he was recovering so nicely. C.S. Lewis says about death...when sudden death occurs, the bereaved individual can scarcely believe or comprehend what has happened. There are strong feelings of unreality. The death doesn't make sense, for it seems as though the loved one died perfectly healthy. Because it is so difficult for the bereaved to grasp the reality of what happened, the grief seems to have a disabling quality to it. How true, I have burned more dinners, left the stove burner on and am walking around in a daze. I'm letting you all know this because you may be experiencing these same symptoms. It's normal, so please recognize that many of you are still in shock and trying to get right back to your work places and trying to push yourselves. This is not what the Lord nor Shasty wants. Take some time for yourselves, read some inspiring books and get into a "happy" place, take a good walk and talk to others, at least once a day.

Our whole family will be there in Denver this Sunday at the City Park at the place where a statue is located. I believe this is where Shasty's memorial tree has already been planted. If you didn't get an email from our son Matt, we apologize. Hopefully, some of you will read this note and we will be starting at 11:00 a.m. Please bring your funny hats, drinks and food stuff, guitars and especially cameras to capture the day. My husband Rich is driving as we speak so he can get there early as we have to empty Eric's apt. and get that clam chowda started and BBQ. I quess I know where Eric's gets his genes.

Take care, and let's celebrate his wonderful life. If you need to reach someone for directions, Andy Ard has them. Also, many are making pies and desserts and salads to go with the BBQ and chowda we are providing.

Mary Vandermay
vandermay1@earthlink.net